Today we are discussing fear of failing, which we sometimes don’t know we have till we have a closer look at ourselves. MPM, we have had many prayer requests and counselling sessions in this area as more people feel they are living in bondage of fear unable to find a way to break free. Feel free to comment and share.
We all come from different backgrounds, beliefs and faiths, upbringing and values that makes us different.
Here are some of the questions you may ask yourself:
1. You apply for jobs but don’t turn up for the interview even though you meet all the selection criteria.
2. You do all the research about something and gather all the resources but last minute unable to sign on the dotted line.
3. You are madly in love and have waited and prayed for a spouse but you are unable to go through the process of marriage.
Here are just some of the examples of fear that holds us back.
Failure is not the same for everyone. Some use failure as a stepping stone, a great learning experience to climb to their destiny. They don’t allow it to destroy their peace and joy while for others it may seem a dead end. There are people who have this deep seeded desire to pass at everything and have very high expectations of themselves. These are high achievers who don’t like to fail at anything and they may take it really badly.
Where does this kind of push or need come from? Fear of failing most times stems from upbringing and past experiences. Some parents demand from their children to achieve no matter what the cost is. They put a great deal of pressure and fear on their children and constantly push, criticize, judge and rebuke them. They are constantly told the only way to be anybody is to win at any cost.
They are not encouraged or supported. They are treated as subjects, humiliated and rejected if they do not meet the demands.
The child from an early age starts to compete and suffer silently the feelings of rejection. This pressure at times leads to a breaking point.
Fear of failing may not be real to you but there are people who just cannot fail. Failure would mean their life is not worth living. This is extreme and is not normal.
Fear of any kind is real and it affects a lot of people from taking a step forward. Fear of failure is not alone. It brings with it a cousin, thoughts of not being good enough, what if I fail at this business or marriage? People with high expectations feel they are losers if they do not get what they want because that is all they have been exposed to by their parents, win at any cost. These kinds of people will stop at nothing to get what they want, will not allow anyone or anything to come in the way of their goal.
Overcoming fear is to dig deep to the childhood and one by one deal with the grass roots, reconditioning the mind in Christ. Mind is the battleground where you win or lose a battle. The mind is the powerhouse that can play tricks on us and keep us in chains. Capture one thought at a time and replace it with positive thought. Look in the mirror and speak good things about yourself.
You are your best cheer leader. Cheer yourself on.